Hi From the Cabernet Vines

This week Marcus and I are in Napa, to spend some time with my family and take a little break from Oklahoma. Kind of ironic to be here since I don’t drink, but this place is so beautiful and the weather is so nice, I’m okay with skipping the vino.

Over the weekend, there were a few get togethers in honor of my aunt, who passed away in April. It’s been exhausting, but good. Her immediate family is feeling all of their feels, and their grief is in the air although the mood isn’t heavy. And I miss my aunt a lot too; she really was an extraordinary person. I miss lots of people who are no longer here. In an atmosphere like this, it all gets jumbled up together.

Maybe as I get older, death and loss seem to gain more poignancy. I don’t know how it all works. However I do believe there is no right or wrong way to grieve; how we deal with loss (what does that even mean, anyway? “Deal with loss”?) never looks the same twice.

But the older I get, the more bittersweet it all feels.

I can’t really think of what more to say this week. I’m tired and it’s confusing and there is a lot of non-stop peopleing, which is exhausting but so, so very good for me. How lucky I am to have a chance to practice being present with my family.

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