Rain in the bay and ukulele practice

hello from my happy place

current view, after the rain

Hello from Hawaii. I’m back in my happy place – the windward side of Oahu. I got here a little over a week ago by way of Napa for Easter, and have three more weeks left to sit on my friends’ balcony and watch the water.

It’s funny how one month sounds like such a long time, but it goes so quickly. Probably because I’m still spending a lot of my days looking at a computer screen for work. But I can always glance up and catch a cattle egret flying by, or observe the rising tide as it submerges the sand bars.

Yesterday was my birthday. I had it all planned out—a 30-minute drive to Waimanalo, where I planned to pick up my favorite fish tacos (and a side of potato mac), and sit on the beach to have lunch and read a book. I got the fish tacos just fine, but when I arrived at the beach, it started raining and after scarfing one of the best tacos I’ve ever eaten under some pine trees, it became apparent the rain was not going to let up anytime soon. So I made my way home. It rained a good part of the afternoon, and basically all of this morning.

It’s nice though. I like the sound of the rain, and I know the plants and animals love it. I wouldn’t say the rain ruined my birthday plans, but the day didn’t end up being as much of a break as I’d hoped. Maybe I’ll try to go back next week. Because when you find fish tacos this good, you need to eat them while they’re available!

Getting out of Oklahoma has been a good thing. I was really starting to lose my marbles. Being in an ultra-red state is hard on a sensitive, rational person. Here in Hawaii, it seems easier to breathe. Having some space makes me feel better, and water is always very grounding for me.

I don’t want to turn this newsletter into a political vehicle, but I will say the goings on in the United States have affected me greatly. I never thought I would see this country fall to a fascist regime (and I never thought I’d have to write a sentence like that). Yet here we are. For the moment I’m over the panic attacks about it, but even the beauty of Hawaii doesn’t stop me from seeing what’s happening. It’s not about political parties anymore, it’s about right and wrong and the loss of the protections we had under the Constitution.

I am sad, scared, anxious, disappointed, angry … all the things. They’ve overwhelmed my nervous system. That in turn frightens me—what am I doing to my health with all this worry? Nothing good, I am sure.

But this afternoon, someone a few balconies over is practicing the ukulele, the water in the bay is calm, and the birdsong is incessant and cheery. Life goes on. There is beauty everywhere, and I still try to look for what I want to see more of. I keep in touch with my core friends, I still have hope.

That said, after dinner I’m off to stockpile some TP and canned goods.

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