The Nuclear Family
a foreign object
’Sup from SoCal! Please note that there will be no weekly post last week, as I may start slowing down my publishing schedule for the fall/winter. I apologize in advance, late!
Today I’m in San Diego so here’s the latest travel post, LET’S GO
The Nuclear Family: a foreign object
Nothing good ever comes from lying awake at 2:30am. Unlike that cool liminal space in the early morning, between waking and sleeping, where story ideas are born, the irrational quagmire of middle of the night holds nothing but bad news.
When in that headspace, I’m too tired to be rational but awake enough to worry. About EVERYTHING. Which is why, lying awake last night here in my friend’s house in San Diego, I convinced myself I had Covid and was going to die by morning.
It’s morning and I’m still alive and the test was negative, so I guess that’s good. But in case this never happens to you, I can confirm that sleep hangovers are real.
Last Tuesday I left my friends in Oahu and flew to LA, where I stayed with my aunt and uncle for a day. This is my dad’s brother and his wife. It was like being with my dad, but different. We share enough Neil traits that being together is easy and enjoyable. We even went to a thrift store together—something he does regularly, as did my dad. Then I took him to the local yarn shop and he came inside, where he got a crash course on yarn fibers from me. Also like my dad, he’s polite enough to feign interest. (I bought more sock yarn, because YARN.)
On Thursday I took the Pacific Surfliner down to San Diego, and here I am for a little over a week. The train ride was fun. Union Station in LA is beautiful, but also just a tad scary. Like life?
Now I’m staying with my friend Julie, who I met when we were in the 10th grade. There were years since then when we didn’t communicate, but in the last few years we’ve reconnected, and I’ve come down to stay with her and her family a few times now. It’s kind of fun to drop into a friend’s house and see how everyone’s doing, offer to do the dishes or cook a meal, maybe take a kid to soccer practice. Last night I fed the dog (too much food, which he barfed up later. Clearly dog sitting isn’t my strong suit). It’s a chance to see how other people live, up close. She has three kids, one left at home now, and a husband who’s a high-powered attorney. I didn’t have a two-parent household since the age of two. I don’t have siblings or even a “regular” job anymore. The “nuclear family” is a fascinating concept and kind of exciting to see a well-functioning example up close. It makes me realize how dysfunctional most of my own relationships have been. But there’s no point in regretting things like that. I just need to move forward and learn and try to have good days … and enjoy the success and happiness of my friends.
I’m grateful to have generous friends and family who’ve invited me into their homes and have made my 2023 Fall Tour possible. It feels like since I got my ASD diagnosis last year, I appreciate the people who have known me for so long and who accept me for all my weirdness even more than before.
Some things don’t come naturally to me, I’m sorry to say. I don’t feel particularly generous sometimes, and it’s often hard to understand what others are feeling or going through. But my friends are terrific reminders, and they help me to always move toward being the best version of myself. And if I can cook a white bean soup for dinner for a group of five as a thank you, even better.
"It’s morning and I’m still alive and the test was negative, so I guess that’s good." 🤣 Guess all of those things are good... Wow, that Union Station, such architecture!